I guess you could call this my inaugural post of MM Good Book Reviews. I, personally, feel that a good romance is a good romance, regardless of the genders, orientations or number of participants, but in order not to offend any of my more sensitive readers, I’ve elected to segregate gay romance from straight romance. Not sure how long that is going to last, as it goes against my principles, but we’ll see.

Anyway, rather than start off with a review, I decided to begin what I’m calling, Friday Rants. Just little thoughts that pop into my twisted head as I read, write and review.

Today, I would like to address the literary device, and I use that term loosely, of allowing characters to fall in love at first sight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against instant attraction. But, unless you are writing paranormal fiction that includes mate specific pheromones, PLEASE STOP THROWING LOVE AROUND LIKE CANDY.

I read a novella this week that was so sweet. It was well written and had a nice pace. A CEO was headed to an important meeting when his personal assistant calls in sick. A hottie from the secretarial pool fills in and saves the day. So far, so good. Anyway, our lovers (because, of course, all gay men have a deep seeded need to bend over and take it from every man they’re attracted to)  please insert heavy sarcasm have raw, nasty sex. All is going well, until the secretary pulls out his resume. Mr. CEO freaks out and assume that their little tryst was a ruse to merely further the secretary’s career. He blows up and shows his ass. The secretary is equally offended and stomps off into the night.

Now, I didn’t have any problem with the plot up to this point. There were a few points hiccups that made me pause, but none big enough to stop reading. Anyway, back to our story. So the next morning, the CEO realizes he might have jumped to conclusions. As luck would have it, there is a job within his company that the “secretary” would be perfect for. With NO further contact, the man leaves town for a six week assignment, presumably happy as a clam.

During their time apart, they do not call, email or even text. But, the minute that secretary comes back to town, the CEO is declaring his undying love. WTF? Since meeting these two have spent maybe 12 hours together…total.  And most of that time was spent in bed.  And forgive me for being cynical, but you can’t believe anything a man says when he’s plotting on some ass.  In that time, they may have discovered that they are very physically attracted to one another. Maybe thought…hmmm, I’d really like to get to know this guy better. But, love…come on.

I wish that this was an isolated incident. But, alas, that is not the case. What I’d really like to see is a character that files a restraining order and then runs for the hills after one of these declarations. I want to see someone checking the medicine cabinet for psych meds or googling nutcases online.  Something.  Anything that lets me know he values his personhood to much to fall for that load of blarney.

I didn’t just come up with this theory, I have the same complaint about many het romances. Attraction can be instantaneous, but love takes a bit longer to take root in a person’s soul. If you want me to take your writing seriously, take the time to let me see the players falling in love.  Or if you are going for porn on paper, cool.  Sometimes sex is just sex.  But, stop trying to fit A Love Story into Deep Throat.

Because, I promise you…the author of the piece that I used as an example, next book might be filled with angst, passion, suspense and humor…unless, they send me a free audiobook…I’ll never know. There are too many well written, well thought out books for me to waste my time on that kind of mess.

If, you agree with me, or think that I’m full of crap, leave a comment. I’d love to hear what you think. If nothing else, maybe we could form a support group for readers of bad writing. 😉