The Pill Bugs of Time by Angel Martinez Blog Tour, Short Story, Excerpt & Review!

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Hi peeps, we have Angel Martinez stopping by with her newest release The Pill Bugs of Time, we have a fantastic short story about Leather Jacket, a great excerpt and Shorty’s review, so check out the post and enjoy! <3 ~Pixie~

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The Pill Bugs of Time

(Offbeat Crimes 02)
by

Angel Martinez

Vikash Soren, the perfect police officer except for his odd paranormal ability, never seems to lose his temper. Always serene and competent, he’s taken on the role of mediator in a squad room full of misfits. But on the inside, he’s a mess. Unable to tell his police partner that he loves him, Vikash struggles silently, terrified of losing Kyle as a lover, partner and friend.

But life in the 77th Precinct doesn’t leave much room for internal reflection. A confrontation with a stick-throwing tumbleweed in Fairmount Park leads to bizarre consequences involving pill bugs, statues and…time travel? If Vikash manages to survive the week and stay in one point in time, he might be able to address normal things like relationship problems. He just needs Kyle to have a little more patience. Maybe a few centuries’ worth.

Offbeat Crimes Series Info:

Every region has them, but no police department talks about them—the weird crimes, the encounters with creatures out of nightmares. The 77th Precincts exist in certain cities to handle paranormal crime and containment, usually staffed with experienced officers exhibiting psychic abilities.

In Philadelphia, through an odd mix of budget issues and circumstance, the 77th is manned entirely by officers with bizarre or severely limited psychic talents. The firestarter who can’t get a spark when it’s humid. The vampire who can’t drink whole blood. These are the stories of the misfits, the outcasts from even the strangeness of the paranormal community. Call them freaks, but they’re police officers first, serving and protecting, even if their methods aren’t always normal procedure.

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Hunter Green Pea Coat

by Angel Martinez

The rain covered everything like a dirty gray blanket. A see-through dirty gray blanket. It was a stupid metaphor, but he was in a noir kind of mood. He wished he could smoke. Noir detectives always lit up when they were pensive and melancholy.

She stood beside him as the train pulled in, motionless, maybe thinking noir thoughts as he was.

With a gesture at the slowing train and back to her, he indicated, Do you have to go?

A little shrug as she stuffed her sleeves in her pockets. We’ve been through this.

He pointed to her, to him, back to her. What about us?

Her shrug was slower this time, sadder. Beyond that, she didn’t answer.

She’d blown into his life just two weeks before. Had it only been two weeks? Gorgeous hunter green pea coat with big dark buttons and a mountain of attitude. Their sleeves had met over a bin of shiny glass beads, though he’d just been looking. She’d been stuffing them in her pocket. Petty stuff as thefts went. Still, he warned her off lifting things in that part of town. He wasn’t just some punk anymore; he knew police officers. Even liked some of them.

Instead of taking offense, she touched his zipper, seemed fascinated by it like it was the first one she’d seen up close. Maybe it was. She was like that, this strange package of jaded and innocent all wrapped up in a beautiful package of trouble. They spent hours together just drifting through parks, making smartass observations about people they saw, feeding the birds, playing hide-and-seek around the statues like they were kids. They haunted chocolatiers and ogled the selections. They snuck into a film festival to watch anime, tossing popcorn at each other and laughing silently. He’d never had such an intense connection to anyone and she felt it too. At least, he’d thought she had.

But something had changed in the last couple of days. She said she never planned on staying so long. Just passing through. The harder he tried to convince her to stay, the more stubborn she was about having to go.

He tugged on her sleeve as the train doors opened. Don’t go.

Gently, she patted his lapel, took out pen and paper and wrote something. When she boarded, she turned and pressed the paper up to the window for him to see. See you, Space Cowboy.

Leather Jacket turned his collar up against the rain and watching the train until it disappeared in the gray pall of rain.

(As a teensy explanation, a reader asked for a love story for Leather Jacket…this is what came out when I started typing. Sorry about that.)

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Excerpt

Normal was something one left at the door when assigned to a paranormal police station. Officer Vikash Soren had seen that demonstrated the first time he had set foot inside the 77th. During roll call, the man who would later become his partner had accidentally shot fire from his fingers at the ceiling. Someone else’s fire, as it turned out. In the weeks that followed, he had encountered an animated leather jacket, worked with a vampire, a lizard man and various officers of dubious paranormal talents, and had helped stop the killing spree of an alligator snapping turtle the size of a sedan.

It would follow that nothing should surprise him anymore.

But when he walked into the squad room that morning, late due to a doctor’s appointment, his colleagues had gathered around the periphery of the room to watch Greg Santos in a fistfight with a puddle of water.

Coffee cup in hand, he wandered over to lean against the desk beside his partner.

“Hey, Kash.” Kyle gave him a quick glance, his attention fastened on the unlikely pugilists. “Everything go okay?”

“Yes. Shoulder’s fine.”

“You’re not even going to ask, are you?”

Vikash sipped his whipped cream-drowned mocha latte. “You’ll tell me.”

“You saying I talk too much, Soren?” Kyle nudged him with an elbow. “One of us has to. The suspect was originally an ice tree. Tree-ish. Thing. It was ice and looked like a three-year-old had built a tree out of Legos.”

Carrington Loveless III, the department’s nutritionally challenged vampire, came to lean against the desk on Vikash’s other side. “It was, as I understand it, standing on the Ben Franklin Parkway and hitting people as they walked by. Didn’t seem to be causing injury, but we can’t have an ice beast swatting tourists’ asses. Harassment, at the very least. Bad for the city’s image.”

“It melted?”

“Why, yes. Yes, it did.” Carrington’s smile was just half a fang short of evil. “Melted through the net in which Santos had snared it, and the resulting puddle goosed him. Things escalated rather quickly from there.”

Greg didn’t seem to be making any headway, other than getting soaked. “Should get an Odo bucket,” Vikash murmured.

“A what?”

Kyle chuckled into his coffee. “Seriously, Carr? You never watched Deep Space Nine? The character who could only retain a solid shape for so long?”

Carrington sniffed. “Masters level courses in geek. Between the two of you, that’s what I’d need to decipher half your conversations.”

“This from someone who sings opera in the car,” Carrington’s partner, Amanda Zacchini, muttered as she walked past, her steps hindered by the piece of equipment she carried. Shira Lourdes, Greg’s partner, hurried after her with an armful of some sort of corrugated hose.

“I like a lot of music!”

“Moody, dark, emo music, sure,” Amanda countered, though her attention was on what she and Shira had brought in, most likely from Amanda’s truck, since they’d tracked in snow as well.

When Amanda attached the hose, Vikash finally recognized it—a Shop-Vac, of the sort people had in their garages or by their workbenches. He shook his head as he hurried over to get the vac plugged in for Amanda. While the male squad members had been standing around watching the struggle, some of them taking bets, their two female members had been deriving a solution.

Without another word, Amanda switched on the vac, sucked up the water combatant, removed the hose and jammed a rubber ball in the opening, effectively trapping the animated water and leaving Greg panting on the floor.

Lieutenant Dunfee had just emerged from her office, eyebrows raised. “Do I want to know?”

Perched on top of the lieutenant’s doorframe, a bright-blue and neon-pink bundle of feathers flapped its wings and let out a raucous croaking laugh. Edgar, the department’s foul-mouthed raven, finally decided to weigh in. “Water sports!” he called out. “Not safe for work! Fucking amateurs!”

Lieutenant Dunfee shot him a withering glare. “Enough with the editorial, Edgar. What the hell is going on out here?”

“Under control, ma’am,” Amanda deadpanned. “But I’m filing an expense report for a Shop-Vac. Just so you know.”

“Get it on my desk. I’ll sign it. See what the bean counters make of that.” The lieutenant pinned Greg with a hard stare. “Santos? You need medical assistance?”

Greg climbed to his feet hastily, wiping the back of one hand across his split lip. “No, ma’am.”

“Good to hear. Back to work, ladies and gentlemen. Try to keep the violent confrontations to a minimum today.”

A rather disgruntled and damp Greg Santos stalked off to the men’s room to clean up while Shira continued with booking the combative puddle.

“Just another day,” Vikash murmured as he finally took his seat at the desk he shared with Kyle.

“Hmm?” Kyle glanced up from his typing. “Oh. Yeah. Though I’m thankful for any day free of explosions and imminent death. Or are you having a paranormal existential crisis again?”

“An amused one.”

“Well, damn. If it’d been the other kind, I could get us takeout from My Thai, light some candles and put on Princess Bride when we got home.”

“Kyle. Work.” Vikash said it gently, but it was all he could do to keep his gaze from darting about to see if anyone had heard.

“It’s not like I’m yelling,” Kyle hissed. “God’s sake, Kash. The paranoia’s getting a little old.”

“Work is work and home is home.”

“Yeah, yeah, and never the twain shall meet. It’s not like I’m cornering you for a quickie in the conference room. Or locking lips over lunch.”

“Interesting development.”

“What?”

“The increased alliteration when you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset. Just a little irritated that you keep jumping and twitching if I get too close anywhere outside one of our apartments. We’re both professional at work. I don’t insist we hold hands those rare times we go out to dinner. Ticks me off that you keep acting, I don’t know, embarrassed about us.”

“You promised to stick to professional at work.”

“Easy, Soren.” Carrington patted his shoulder as he strolled past. “Suggesting takeout for dinner is hardly unprofessional.”

“You heard?” Vikash’s heart thudded against his breastbone. The whole department knows. Everyone can see.

“Vampire ears, my dear. What don’t I hear? Seriously, though, relax. No one has time to care about your little illicit tryst.”

Vikash might have taken the advice if Virago hadn’t bellowed across the room, “Hey! What’re you girls whispering about? Going to some rainbow and glitter bar?”

“Only if you come with us!” Kyle made kissy face noises in Virago’s direction. “Don’t forget your purse!”

“Shut it, Vance,” Amanda muttered as she stalked past and smacked Virago on the back of the head. “Your conf…confucking…what’s the word, Carr?”

“Conflation,” Carrington called back without missing a beat.

“Yeah, that word…of gay men with actual chicks is offensive.”

“Sorry, Manda.”

Normally, Vance Virago, self-proclaimed tough guy, cringing as he apologized would have been amusing. Vance couldn’t have heard them from across the room. He was merely bullying Kyle as he always did. But the timing was horrible, and between those homophobic words and Vikash’s twitching, they had managed to erase the contented ease from Kyle’s face. It gutted him that Vance could do that. Worse still, Vikash had no idea what to do about it.

“Kyle…”

He didn’t have a chance for even a minimalistic explanation or apology though, since an alert popped up onscreen from the lieutenant, ordering them to a disturbance in Fairmount Park.

Vance shoved violently back from his desk. “Aw, man!”

And our resident homophobe is our backup. Irritation crawled up Vikash’s spine. Kyle had never done anything to Vance except refuse to crumple under his bullying. Some days it was bad enough that Vikash wanted to file harassment charges on Kyle’s behalf, though Kyle would resent the interference. Still, it was wrong and— Oh, damn.

Through his rising anger, Vikash felt the uncomfortable heated ball of power at his core heralding his strange talent manifesting. He nearly panicked, the urge to reach across the desk and grab Kyle overwhelming. Together, they had a chance to direct the lightning blast of anger somewhere harmless. Maybe the old paper shredder that jammed after every page. But touching Kyle also meant the power would amplify in some bizarre melding of their broken paranormal talents. Not to mention, touching Kyle in the squad room just gave Vance more ammunition.

Then it was too late for choices. The power surged from him as he sat stone still, fighting to keep any reaction from his expression. A pop and a distinct electronic sizzle sounded on his left and he cringed.

“Fuck me!” Vance shouted, batting at his smoking computer monitor.

Jeff stood to help him smother the tiny flames with a towel. “Damn it, Vance. What did you do now?”

“I didn’t do it! I swear!”

“Lieutenant’s gonna stop letting you have computers if you keep breaking them.”

Vikash turned back to find Kyle staring at him instead of watching the commotion, his lips clamped together in an angry line.

“I don’t need you to protect me, Kash.”

“It wasn’t…it got away from me.”

Kyle snorted. “Obviously.”

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About Angel

While Angel Martinez is the erotic fiction pen name of a writer of several genres, she writes both kinds of gay romance – Science Fiction and Fantasy. Currently living part time in the hectic sprawl of northern Delaware, (and full time inside the author’s head) Angel has one husband, one son, two cats, a changing variety of other furred and scaled companions, a love of all things beautiful and a terrible addiction to the consumption of both knowledge and chocolate.

Where to find the author:

Facebook | Facebook Author Page | Twitter | PinterestWebsite

Review

angel-martinez-the-pill-bugs-of-time-coverTitle: The Pill Bugs of Time

Series:  Offbeat Crimes 02

Author: Angel Martinez

Genre: Erotic Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal

Length: Novella (90 pages)

Publisher: Pride Publishing (September 20, 2016)

Heat Level: Moderate

Heart Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥ 5 Hearts

Blurb: Relationship and communication issues plague Officer Vikash Soren, but those are nothing compared to facing stick-throwing tumbleweeds, pill bugs and…time travel?

Vikash Soren, the perfect police officer except for his odd paranormal ability, never seems to lose his temper. Always serene and competent, he’s taken on the role of mediator in a squad room full of misfits. But on the inside, he’s a mess. Unable to tell his police partner that he loves him, Vikash struggles silently, terrified of losing Kyle as a lover, partner and friend.

But life in the 77th Precinct doesn’t leave much room for internal reflection. A confrontation with a stick-throwing tumbleweed in Fairmount Park leads to bizarre consequences involving pill bugs, statues and…time travel? If Vikash manages to survive the week and stay in one point in time, he might be able to address normal things like relationship problems. He just needs Kyle to have a little more patience. Maybe a few centuries’ worth.

Publisher’s Note: This book has previously been released elsewhere. It has been revised and re-edited for re-release with Pride Publishing.

ISBN: 978-1-78651-472-1

Product Link: https://www.pride-publishing.com/book/the-pill-bugs-of-time

Reviewer: Shorty 

Review: In this second book in the Offbeat Crimes series we are treated to Officer Vikash Soren POV. Vikash is more serious than Kyle was in the first book. But I still enjoyed the difference.

I felt bad for Kyle as his Vikash is still in the closet and has problems expressing how he feels to Kyle. The secondary characters in the story added a delightful funny element to an already fantastic adventure/action packed story. 

I simply love this story. It has time travel, weird creatures, paranormal aspects and two lovers who are still feeling each out all the while confronting threats as they appear. A page turner and a story that enthrals you from start to finish. I loved it.

Highly recommended.

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