Hi peeps, we have Monika De Giorgi stopping by today with her first English release Where I’ll Be Waiting, we have a great guest post from Monika, a great excerpt and a fabulous giveaway, so enjoy the post and leave a comment to enter the giveaway! <3 ~Pixie~
Where I’ll Be Waiting
Monika De Giorgi
Facing your fears, inner demons, friendship and a love to dream of.
Jesse meets a wonderful guy who is caring, attentive, lovable, and handsome to boot. Unfortunately, the only time he sees Cameron is in his dreams—dreams that are never flimsy and fast forgotten in the morning, but feel very real. And the longer they go on, the more palpable they feel to Jesse.
But what happens when these dreams have a bigger and bigger impact on Jesse’s daily life? When they begin to take a toll on him and make it harder to wake up every day? And what if they turn into nightmares and Jesse can’t get out anymore, if he never wakes up?
One day Cameron finds a heartbreaking poem in a small notebook, hidden in a used book. From the first time he reads it, the handwritten words resonate somewhere deep within him and when he goes to sleep that night, he meets Jesse for the first time—a sad young man who makes Cam want to give him reasons to smile and a shoulder to cry on. From that night on, Jesse is a nightly visitor in Cameron’s dreams.
But what happens when Cameron finds out that his Jesse is very much real? And what if a sinister presence takes hold of their shared dreams and Cameron wakes up? Can he get back to Jesse? Or will Jesse stay back forever in this dreamscape turned nightmare?
Monika De Giorgi
My name is Monika De Giorgi and I’m stopping by today, to celebrate the release of my first novel in English with you.
So, I wanted to tell you all bit about, how “Where I’ll Be Waiting” got written. The idea behind it is one I carried around for years, but I never found the right Mindset to start writing it, until one day it hit me like a baseball bat and I just started. Soon I had the first pages in a text document and my trusted beta urged me for more, but as fast as the first pages got written – the rest of the book was often a daily fight to reach my wordcount. Not because I didn’t have an outline or didn’t know where I wanted to go, Jesse and me just couldn’t connect.
Until I reverted to writing by hand, as I did when I started writing back as a teenager. Page after page got written down on notepads, notebooks etc and then transferred into my little netbook. Slow work, but so worth it. When I was in the story and had typed down what I had written by hand, I sometimes could even continue on the computer, until I reached another blockade. Then I had to sort everything out on paper again.
So I had the outline, handwritten pages and then the text document.
Often it was real fun, sitting outside with a notebook and scribbling away. I love these notebooks, they’re a wonderful keepsake and after a day’s writing, it’s also great to look at all the filled pages, not just at a wordcount at the bottom of a screen.
Do you still like writing something by hand or do you go straight to typing?
Jesse in the story also writes by hand, to sort his thoughts out, even if he starts at his laptop most of the times. In other projects (published in German) I wrote the main part on my computer, but took all of my notes by hand. I tried using several tools on my PC, but they didn’t feel right.
On the other hand, I still hope my next project will allow me to work with my laptop more. It’s a lot faster to keep up with the speed of my thoughts this way 😉
I hope this peek on my desk was interesting for you. I picked an excerpt, where Jesse tells Liam about Cameron and they try to make sense of what’s happening to Jesse.
This was one of the parts where I fought just for my words as Jesse does, and in the evening I had to play “connect the sentences” between all the scratched words.
I hope it makes you curious for the rest of the book 😉
If you have questions etc. just comment here, I’ll stop by over the next days and look forward to talk to you.
You can also visit me on facebook and drop me a line :-). Oh, and don’t forget to enter the giveaway. You can win an e-copy of “Where I’ll Be Waiting”.
The hostess guided them to a table for two out on a spacious terrace. A mason jar with a small candle inside sat in the middle. Night had fallen while they had freshened up in their rooms.
“Wining and dining me in romantic ambiance, Liam?” he joked lightly.
Liam smirked then smiled up at their waiter, who brought their menus over, filled two glasses with ice water, and asked if the gentlemen wanted to order a drink.
Jesse watched as Liam took his menu but made no move to open it. Jesse ordered himself a glass of scotch, feeling he would need it, while Liam asked for the same and put the menu aside, watching their waiter leave. But then Liam’s gaze returned to Jesse. Again he seemed to contemplate him before asking, “What does Cam do to make you so miserable, Jesse?” His voice was low and careful. “And who is he?”
And Jesse’s fingers crinkled the tablecloth as he clenched them in shock. How the fuck did Liam know about Cam?
“How…” he stammered and slowly spread his fingers before wrapping them around the condensation-damp glass of his water. He wished it was holding something stronger and hoped his scotch would arrive soon.
“You talk in your sleep, Jesse. It was a shot in the blue, and it seems like I’ve hit the mark.”
Jesse understood his friend’s worry, especially considering… Jesse’s past. And he wanted to dispel it, but somehow he was certain it would only send it in a different direction.
Dragging a finger along the rim of his glass, he tried to gather his thoughts.
“Cam does nothing to make me miserable, but… I can’t even really say who he…”
Yeah, who was Cam? Good question, and he had no clue how to answer it without applying for a room at a psychiatric ward.
“It’s crazy,” he then muttered, because… what else should he say.
“It’s me, Jesse. Hit me with your crazy, but don’t let it eat you up from the inside.” Liam smiled one of his smiles that made him look more angelic than he had any right to and gave him one of the gazes Jesse never had been able to resist even if sometimes he regretted that fact. Especially during Liam’s wilder days during college it lead to some adventures Jesse could have done without.
Jesse sighed, tugging nervously at the rolled up sleeves of his gray button down, and awarded his friend’s attempts to make him feel better with a shaky smile.
“It really is crazy,” he stalled, knowing he would spill his guts before the first course of the meal.
Liam shrugged, not taking his eyes from Jesse’s face.
Jesse hated to feel himself blush and only hoped it wouldn’t be too noticeable in the candlelight.
The smile Jesse sent the waiter who brought their drinks, was really grateful. He took a large gulp of his scotch and instantly had to suppress a cough. Usually Liam would have mocked him, but the waiter saved him and also gave him more time.
“Are you ready to order, sirs?”
And Liam rattled off an order that made Jesse stare at him in stunned silence.
“Same,” was all he muttered, because he hadn’t looked at his menu, but Liam hadn’t either.
“It’s on their homepage,” Liam explained without prompting then made a go on motion with his slender hand.
“Cam is… I don’t know who Cam is. Hell, I don’t believe he even exists.”
Liam wrinkled his brow and looked confused. But he only nodded at Jesse, his fingers curling around his tumbler of scotch.
“I started dreaming of him some time ago. One night he was just there. It’s strange in these dreams. They feel like… they feel real, like sunshine and rain on my skin real. And when I wake up again, they’re nothing like those fuzzy pictures you usually can’t hold on to. It feels like I have been there, talked to him, met him. And when I wake up… oh god, it’s so stupid. But I miss him, Liam. I think about him all the fucking time. When I’m awake I want back to sleep.
See him again. But on the other hand it really freaks me out, so I try not to think about it and it makes me… I don’t want to think about it, but I can’t help it and on the other hand I want…”
Jesse threw up his hands and stared out over the hotel’s little park. It looked like a nice place for a stroll. Fairy lights glittered on bushes, and he heard the faint bubble of a well or fountain. Yep, he so didn’t want to look at Liam. He felt hot and deeply embarrassed.
“I get this is not you avoiding the real issue,” Liam commented, and Jesse startled, because it hadn’t occurred to him that this could be what Liam would maybe think when he related his story. It made him realize how caught up and shaken he was by the whole Cam thing.
“No,” he confirmed.
“Is it a story making itself known like this?” Liam inquired, his face earnest and caring.
“Have you ever heard something like that happening to another author?” Jesse noticed how hopeful he sounded.
How much he wished for an easy explanation, even if he somehow felt this wasn’t his answer at all.
“No.” Liam shrugged, looking a bit apologetic. He obviously hadn’t missed the spark of hope in Jesse’s eyes and voice. “Don’t think so. Still, it could be,” he promptly soothed.
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Jesse replied, lifting a shoulder, even though he was far from uncaring, and swirling the scotch in his glass.
“He could be your muse,” Liam offered.
Jesse wondered how Liam did it—handling Jesse’s crazy like a color sample for tapestry. “My muse?” Jesse echoed.
“Liam, I’ve had writer’s block since the dreams started.”
“Have you even tried to write about Cam?” Liam shot back.
“First I wanted to, but then it freaked me out too much,”
Jesse replied honestly, calmed by Liam’s demeanor, which looked earnest and helpful as he regarded Jesse with his large eyes. Also, Liam was not calling the looney bin from his cell. Another win. Even if he didn’t want to have this conversation in the beginning, he felt a bit lighter now that someone else knew about Cam. And what the dreams did to him.
“Try it,” Liam ordered. “It will be your writer’s retreat project.”
“I told you, it doesn’t feel like a story,” Jesse argued and he wasn’t sure he wanted to open himself up to let so much of his feelings and thoughts about Cam out as writing it down would require. Just contemplating it made anxiousness coil in his stomach.
“Yeah, but maybe it helps anyway. You’ll feel better when you can write again. And writing it down will help you sort your thoughts. Like one of those dream diaries. Shying away from it won’t help you here.”
If Jesse had needed any proof how well Liam knew him, this would be it. Because Jesse did just that, he got him. He shied away from his feelings, his dreams, now Liam’s gaze, and the thought takeoff taking pen and paper and writing about Cam. It was a well tried coping mechanism, after all. If one could call it that.
But Liam reached over the table and grabbed his wrist, his tanned skin a stark contrast against Jesse’s pale, freckled forearms. He made Jesse look at him again, kept him from jumping up and hiding in the park—which sounded like a pleasant alternative.
“Also, try something. Try concentrating on your questions for Cam before you sleep. Maybe it will help you get answers.”
Jesse huffed incredulously, pulling his arm from Liam’s grip. “How are you like that? How can you take this… me, seriously? How is it you don’t laugh or try to make me visit a therapist?” Jesse asked, truly stunned, but also avoiding consenting to Liam’s demands. He knew he sounded snappish, but he felt overwhelmed. And Liam seemed to get it, because for once his strategy worked, meaning Liam let him win.
Liam grinned a wide grin. “That’s me.”
Had Jesse not been so shaken up he would have smiled at his friend for the effort he put into making Jesse feel better, but oddly enough, he felt a part of the anxious knot in his insides unravel. Liam was unbelievable.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, unable to find better words, but his friend, as always, understood him, anyway—even though he still couldn’t even think about sitting down to let his thoughts and feelings wander where they wanted to go without his direction all the time anyway, even though he couldn’t even imagine how he should make sense of everything. Liam had helped.
Liam just winked and waved their waiter down for two bottles of beer to go with their meal—whatever he had ordered.
Monika De Giorgi is a nerd, bookworm and author of M/M-Romance. Her first book got published 2007, three more followed since then. Her favorite genres are Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy (with a healthy dose of Romance). She lives with two dogs and her cat in the suburbs of Rosenheim (near Munich) and works as assistant for a film team. She’s never seen without something to read and traveling without her laptop and several notebads is just not imaginable.