A Broken Kind of Life by Jamie Mayfield

Title:  A Broken Kind of Life

Author: Jamie Mayfield

Genre:   Young Adult

Length:  Novel (220 pages)

Publisher:  Harmony Ink Press, Dreamspinner Press (September 5^th 2013

Heat Level:  Mild

Heart Rating:  ♥♥♥♥♥5 Hearts

Blurb:   Aaron Downing is broken, barely clinging to the hope that one day, he will be normal again. His life remains a constant string of nightmares, flashbacks, and fear, but he perseveres and starts college, determined to move on.

Then Aaron gets assigned to work with Spencer Thomas for his programming project. Aaron doesn’t want Spencer to think he’s a freak, but as he gets to know his new deaf friend, he figures out he doesn’t need to be “normal.” If he could just learn to control his fear, that could be enough to find his footing again.

Or so Aaron thinks until his parents begin talking about institutionalizing him to give his brothers a more stable life. He searches desperately to find a way to cope or even to fake normalcy. But his new shrink’s instability makes conquering his demons that much more difficult, and his attraction to Spencer threatens to send Aaron spinning out of control.

Adapted as a YA edition of the novel Aaron by J.P. Barnaby.

100% of the author’s royalties are being donated to help homeless LGBT kids find safe shelter.

Product Link:  http://harmonyinkpress.com/new-release-a-broken-kind-of-life-by-jamie-mayfield/

Reviewer:   Tams

Review: Flashes of memories cause him severe panic attacks, attacks he sometimes wonders if he’ll forever be bound to suffer. He is scared that one day he will fall into the nightmare, a memory of the attack, and be stuck within his own dark mind forever. He remembers the debate team meeting with his best friend Juliette and the life altering events that took place after. The men, the van, the garage, the violation, the knife at his throat, his best friend screaming and begging them to stop. He often wonders why he couldn’t just die that night and be done with the hell he lives in daily.

Aaron Downing is a mere shell of a human being. He is withdrawn, anti social and suffers from debilitating panic attacks. His family has supported him through everything these past two years since that fateful night, but he finds himself wondering how much longer they’ll put up with what he’s become. He puts his feet underneath him and decides to enroll in college, he wants desperately to be able to take care of himself and learn to deal with his issues, to have a life.

Spencer Thomas was born premature, his poor young life began wrapped in another random act of violence, not much different from the one Aaron suffered. His mother was attacked and shot, left for dead, but miracle of miracles, unborn Spencer survived. There was a price to pay though, his mother’s life and his hearing. He’s been picked on a ridiculed his entire young life for being different, for being deaf. He though he’d found a man to love until his then boyfriend started referring to him as “my deaf boyfriend”, well, so much for that! Then one day he runs into Aaron, literally.

The two become fast friends and develop a bond based on trust, that grows into love. Once Aaron lets his guard down and lets Spencer in, he’s surprised how much he likes him and wants to be with him. Spencer has liked Aaron since the day they met, but he gives him his space and the time Aaron needs to decide where he wants to go with the relationship. Aaron makes unbelievable progress with his panic attacks and triggers with Spencer’s dad, but when his parents learn about this new therapy, they are less than pleased. Now that boy that lived in constant fear, being set off by the sound of a car door shutting or a simple touch will have to convince his parents that this is what he wants. What he needs to get better.

This book starts out terribly sad, but as the story progresses it becomes something truly beautiful. Aaron and Spencer have suffered more loss and misery in their young lives than most grown people ever will. But together they find solace, happiness, and love. It didn’t come as a surprise to me that the first person Aaron allows to touch him without going into a full-blown attack is Spencer.

Spencer tells Aaron, “I don’t even see your scars anymore, I only see you.” And he touches him then kisses him and it’s perfect! Aaron could care less that Spencer is deaf. All he sees is the kind, patient, and determined young man who has stood by him even during an attack. It’s also absolutely fanfuckingtastic that when the time comes for Aaron to tell Spencer how he feels, he uses sign language.

I’ve been a fan of Mayfield since his since his ‘Waiting for Forever’ series, and I loved this new book just as much. Yes it’s a difficult read and covers some very troubling subjects. At times Aaron is in such a dark place, you will find yourself almost hyperventilating, wondering if this will be the time, he doesn’t come back. Oh but when he and Spencer find each other and they begin to heal its mesmerizing. If you like books that are deeply rooted in reality with hard-core subject matter, excellent writing, and extremely supportive secondary characters, I think you’ll love this book. No naughty bits really, this is a YA book. But there is a HEA!! I warn you though, make sure you have a snack a beverage and some Kleenex at the ready; you won’t be able to stop once you’ve started!