I just met you, but I love you…NOT

I guess you could call this my inaugural post of MM Good Book Reviews. I, personally, feel that a good romance is a good romance, regardless of the genders, orientations or number of participants, but in order not to offend any of my more sensitive readers, I’ve elected to segregate gay romance from straight romance. Not sure how long that is going to last, as it goes against my principles, but we’ll see.

Anyway, rather than start off with a review, I decided to begin what I’m calling, Friday Rants. Just little thoughts that pop into my twisted head as I read, write and review.

Today, I would like to address the literary device, and I use that term loosely, of allowing characters to fall in love at first sight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against instant attraction. But, unless you are writing paranormal fiction that includes mate specific pheromones, PLEASE STOP THROWING LOVE AROUND LIKE CANDY.

I read a novella this week that was so sweet. It was well written and had a nice pace. A CEO was headed to an important meeting when his personal assistant calls in sick. A hottie from the secretarial pool fills in and saves the day. So far, so good. Anyway, our lovers (because, of course, all gay men have a deep seeded need to bend over and take it from every man they’re attracted to)  please insert heavy sarcasm have raw, nasty sex. All is going well, until the secretary pulls out his resume. Mr. CEO freaks out and assume that their little tryst was a ruse to merely further the secretary’s career. He blows up and shows his ass. The secretary is equally offended and stomps off into the night.

Now, I didn’t have any problem with the plot up to this point. There were a few points hiccups that made me pause, but none big enough to stop reading. Anyway, back to our story. So the next morning, the CEO realizes he might have jumped to conclusions. As luck would have it, there is a job within his company that the “secretary” would be perfect for. With NO further contact, the man leaves town for a six week assignment, presumably happy as a clam.

During their time apart, they do not call, email or even text. But, the minute that secretary comes back to town, the CEO is declaring his undying love. WTF? Since meeting these two have spent maybe 12 hours together…total.  And most of that time was spent in bed.  And forgive me for being cynical, but you can’t believe anything a man says when he’s plotting on some ass.  In that time, they may have discovered that they are very physically attracted to one another. Maybe thought…hmmm, I’d really like to get to know this guy better. But, love…come on.

I wish that this was an isolated incident. But, alas, that is not the case. What I’d really like to see is a character that files a restraining order and then runs for the hills after one of these declarations. I want to see someone checking the medicine cabinet for psych meds or googling nutcases online.  Something.  Anything that lets me know he values his personhood to much to fall for that load of blarney.

I didn’t just come up with this theory, I have the same complaint about many het romances. Attraction can be instantaneous, but love takes a bit longer to take root in a person’s soul. If you want me to take your writing seriously, take the time to let me see the players falling in love.  Or if you are going for porn on paper, cool.  Sometimes sex is just sex.  But, stop trying to fit A Love Story into Deep Throat.

Because, I promise you…the author of the piece that I used as an example, next book might be filled with angst, passion, suspense and humor…unless, they send me a free audiobook…I’ll never know. There are too many well written, well thought out books for me to waste my time on that kind of mess.

If, you agree with me, or think that I’m full of crap, leave a comment. I’d love to hear what you think. If nothing else, maybe we could form a support group for readers of bad writing. 😉

16 thoughts on “I just met you, but I love you…NOT

  1. LOL, I know exactly how you feel. Love just doesn’t seem to have the same value these days. Or maybe it never had the value I place on it and I’m just a dreamer?

  2. I had a long rebuttal written, but deleted it. LOL…

    The condensed version of my response: I do believe it love at first sight. It doesn’t really bother me to read whiplash love in books. It’s all fiction. There are SO many things in fiction that could never, never, never happen in real life—-but for a moment of suspension in time, I let myself enjoy the crazy fantasy. Just because, to me, fiction IS fantasy. I WANT fantasy in a lot of my fiction.

    If I could not read SOME tales of supersonic speed lust, bedding and love, I’d be SO discouraged by reading nothing but the TOO real side of love which can be very depressing.

    In fiction, ALL heroes have big cocks, and we know that’s not true, either, is it? But we love to eat it up…er…the stories, that is. LOL…

  3. I have to agree with you. Sex is sex. Love is a totally different animal and a book about sex should not be called a romance.

    I just finished writing a story where the hero and heroine have a one night stand and run into each other again at a wedding. I incorporated more than just them banging and sprinkled the piece with them spending time together and connecting on more than just a physical level. I hope I pulled it off. The “I just met you, but I love you” storyline doesn’t work for me either.

  4. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, until… well… the hubby and I fell in love at first sight 18 wonderful years ago. It was more than physical attraction (I wasn’t what he thought was his ‘type’, and he wasn’t mine). We simply ‘fit.’

    But (wincing) it sounds cheesy and fake, doesn’t it?

    1. You just fit. I know exactly what you mean. That’s how it was with hubs and I, fifteen years ago. We didn’t have to think about it or spend more than a couple hours together, one on one, (and it wasn’t in bed, it was over a card game) to know we were both done looking. We’d found the right fit, and two kids, four moves, crazy in-laws and fourteen anniversaries (well, fourteen in two weeks) we still fit like a glove. 🙂

  5. The whole “Hi, I love you, what’d you say your name was?” doesn’t hold my interest.
    I don’t mind whirlwind romances, but let me enjoy, at least for a little while, the emotional ride I paid my money for.

  6. I like some fantasy when it comes to the stories I read, but find myself frowning at things that don’t happen in the real world. The insta-love arc has worked some times, but then I put the book down and think “I give them three months”.

    Same with my own stories. If a scene/behavior/situation doesn’t feel viable and real to me, then I can’t write it. That’s probably why I like to write about normal, regular guys trying to deal with extraordinary situations. And I do mean “trying”, because they are flawed and very human and yes, they mess up. And they definitely don’t fall in love at first sight. Now, lust? That’s a completely different thing 🙂

  7. Love your Friday Rant. Yes, I too like a little bit of time for “Forever Love” to hit. I’ve just read a book where they literally shook hands and maybe sniffed butts (not literally) when it was already “True Forever Snookies”.

    Problem with a Kindle. You can’t throw it across the room in disgust.

  8. The Kindle is an exercise in patience. :::Grins:: Well and I suppose you can get the location of the ending by the numbers but ah, not as much fun as sneaking a peek. Isn’t that funny? So ninja but no one really is watching… cracking open the back pages?

  9. hear hear. insta-love is one of the tropes I really have to be convinced about–so many guys just go to bed with each other and that’s it. Love. I hate to say it, but it’s probably us women veneering this onto men because i know (because i used to) that many women view their mates as “is he the one” aspect.

    I also dislike these very very sweet book where the author simply can’t bear anythig horrible to happen to their characters and the conflict is so slight as to be almost invisible

  10. GREAT REVIEW! I totally agree with pretty much all you said in your article, especially at the middle of your article. Thank you, your post is very useful as always. Keep up the good work! You’ve got +1 more reader of your super blog:) Isabella S.

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