Hi guys, we have Keelan Ellis popping in today with her new release The One Thing I Know, we have a brilliant guest post, a great excerpt and a fantastic giveaway so check out the post and click that giveaway link! <3 ~Pixie~
The One Thing I Know
Talented studio musician, Henry Cole, is offered the dream job of touring with popular rock band, the Vulgar Details. Things aren’t all rosy, though, as he is hired to replace Dell Miller, creative force behind the band, who recently flamed-out in a car accident.
Henry is all too aware that he’s no replacement for someone like Dell. He’s not the only one who feels that way, either. Terry Blackwood, band front man, has been giving him a hard time even before the tour start. He seems to resent Henry’s presence beyond all reason. What Henry doesn’t know is that Terry and Dell’s relationship was both intensely close and fraught with conflict.
Terry’s grief over Dell’s death is overwhelming and threatens to destroy not only the band but his life. It doesn’t help that the new member of the band makes him feel things he doesn’t want to. Worse, when he sings, Henry sounds just like the man Terry cared so deeply for.
With so much at stake, everything could come crashing down around them and mean the end for the Vulgar Details. Or, just maybe, Henry and Terry will find the one thing they need most.
Sometimes redemption comes from the last place you expect to find it.
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The characters in The One Thing I Know are amalgams. If you look closely, you can find elements of many different rockers from the late sixties/early seventies. I love music more than almost anything, and I love all eras of rock music. Some, I love more than others, and the early 1970s are one of those. I find the era itself fascinating. So many changes in the culture had happened in the late 1960s, and from this distance, it seems like people were reacting to those changes in wildly disparate ways. A lot of the music of that time was intensely introspective and personal, which I happen to love. People were all about finding themselves, figuring out who they are, and that’s what Terry and Henry are doing.
I picked Henry’s name because it’s humble, like him. Henry Cole sounds like an ordinary guy, which he is—except for his remarkable musical talent. When he was young, Henry used music as an escape from the pressure he felt from his family and society, to conform to a certain standard. It’s one of the most important things in his life, and he loves it for its own sake—not as a means to an end.
Henry is a fixer and a helper. When he feels needed by someone, he finds it hard to resist, even when he knows it could be futile. He’s drawn to the darkness in others, so it’s no wonder he finds himself unwillingly attracted to Terry.
As for Terry Blackwood, I think I had a name for him before I even had a story. I wanted him to sound British, and like a bit of a badass. He needed a name that sounded dangerous. Terry was born to be a star, and he cares very little about what most other people think of him. Henry seems to be the one exception to that.
Terry’s alcoholism, while somewhat under control for most of his life, becomes a problem as he deals—or avoids dealing—with the personal crisis he’s facing. The more out of control he gets, the more shame he feels, and at times can barely stand to have someone like Henry around. And yet, he finds it nearly impossible to keep his distance.
Richard Gold is Henry’s best friend. He’s ten years older than Henry, and fills the role of mentor. Their relationship, at times sexual but never romantic, has been a mainstay of Henry’s life for many years. Now, the dynamic seems to be changing. Henry is no longer the kid he was when they first met. He’s come into his own, and now is getting involved in a complicated, serious relationship.
Richard is bisexual, and would probably consider himself pansexual if he were around today. He is a free spirit, and intends to stay that way. He eschews romantic entanglements, but he loves his friends. He’s a social butterfly who frequently throws amazing parties at his beautiful Laurel Canyon home, which is where he and Henry met years before.
Dell Miller is a shadow character in the book—basically (though not literally; it’s not that kind of book!) a ghost. His legacy and his memory color everything. His brilliance was a huge part of what made the band successful. His and Terry’s intense, dysfunctional relationship caused some damage and strained relationships in the group. His absence throws everyone off.
Dell was a genius songwriter and a talented musician. He was also troubled. He suffered from some emotional problems and drug addiction, which may have started out as self-medication but by the end was purely about self-destruction.
The One Thing I Know, Keelan Ellis © 2017, All Rights Reserved
Henry woke up to the sound of the shower turning on in the bathroom down the hall. He got up and sorted through the clothes strewn around on the floor, separating his from his guest’s. The two pairs of white briefs were, unfortunately, the same brand and size, so he took his best guess and tossed one of them on top of the pile he was holding. He set the whole thing down outside the bathroom door and went to the kitchen to make coffee. He lit a cigarette and opened the window above the sink. The shower shut off just as the coffee finished brewing, and a few minutes later, his previous evening’s date appeared in the doorway. His name was Danny, and they’d been introduced by a mutual acquaintance. He was as cute as he was dumb, but Henry was fairly certain one night had been enough to satisfy his curiosity.
“Morning,” Henry said. “There’s coffee if you want it.”
“Thanks,” Danny said. He poured some into a cup and leaned against the counter. “Hey, I’m going to the beach later. You want me to stop by and pick you up?”
“Nah. I have work.”
“Oh, right. On the Details’ new record, wasn’t it?”
Henry nodded. He was slated to play pedal steel and Dobro on six tracks for the Vulgar Details’ upcoming album. It wasn’t the first time he’d played with those guys. The band counted on Henry to fill in the gaps whenever their songwriter and pedal steel player, Dell Miller, was off taking peyote in the desert or barricading himself in a hotel room shooting up with whoever he’d brought home that night. Henry had never met Dell and still thought of him as more myth than man. “I should get in the shower pretty soon,” he hinted.
Danny either didn’t pick up on it or didn’t care, and he poured more coffee into his cup. “You think it’s going to be a good one?”
“I think it’s the best one yet.” He rinsed his cup out and put it in the drainer. “I need to get ready. Thanks for coming over. It was fun.”
Danny raised his eyebrows at him, and his lips turned up with wry amusement. Maybe he wasn’t as dumb as Henry had thought. “Sure thing. You got my number. Call if you want.” He set his cup down and gave a little salute before he left. Definitely cute, Henry couldn’t deny that.
Henry got to the studio early and ran through his parts before the band arrived. The songs that Henry had learned for that day’s session were, hands down, the best work the band had done. The new songs were dark and personal, explorations of loss and hopelessness, set to some of the loveliest melodies he’d ever heard. The Vulgar Details had come so far from their beginnings as a brash blues rock band that they were almost unrecognizable. Henry had never thought of them as anything special until their third album, Heart’s Desire, was released back in ’69.
Henry had been lying by the pool at his friend Richard’s house, passing a joint back and forth with him, when he first heard that record. Henry was twenty-four then, and Richard was ten years older, with family money and a beautiful house he’d had built in Laurel Canyon. He threw amazing parties attended by young musicians and hippie hangers-on who were there for the free food, booze, and drugs. Richard didn’t care why they were there. He loved the beautiful boys and girls, the music, and the easily available sex. When he wasn’t partying, he liked having Henry around. Sometimes they fooled around, but Richard never made it seem like a requirement. That day, when he put on the new Vulgar Details record, Henry scoffed.
“I thought you had more interesting taste than that,” he said.
“You’re getting too old to be such a snob.”
Henry stretched and grinned up at him. “Probably getting too old for you, then, huh?”
Richard smiled, shook his head, and sat back down. “Give it a chance. You might be surprised.”
It started out sounding much like all of their previous stuff, but somehow better. Previously, their songs tended toward aimless, slightly silly rip-offs of “Mr. Tambourine Man,” or juvenile rock and roll songs about pretty girls. These were something else altogether. They dealt with love, anger, and desire—the subjects of most rock lyrics—but with a depth almost never heard in popular music.
“Jesus, this is great,” Henry said. “Where the hell did it come from? Did Terry Blackwood get a brain transplant or something?”
Richard laughed. “Not quite. They got a new member. Don’t you follow this stuff, working in the industry?”
“Must have missed that one.”
“His name’s Dell Miller. Actually, he was at that party you came to last month. Skinny, pretty, long-haired country boy? Walked around with his shirt open the whole time?”
“Oh yeah. I think I remember him. The girls were all over him. He wrote all of these?”
“All the good ones,” Richard said.
The last song on the album, “Traveling Abroad,” was the best one, and Henry insisted playing it three times in a row. It had an entirely different sound from the rest of them. It was almost a traditional country song, but the arrangement was complex and the lyrics made him want to cry. There was so much yearning in it that it was almost hard to listen to. When he left Richard’s house that afternoon, he went straight to the nearest record store to buy his own copy.
That was three years and two albums earlier. The Vulgar Details had only gotten better, despite Miller’s increasingly unreliable presence. The band’s sound drifted more and more toward the mellow country- and bluegrass-influenced style Miller had brought with him from Tennessee. A few of the blues rock numbers that were Terence Blackwood’s bread and butter still remained, but these no longer represented the bulk of their output. This new album took that even further, and Henry had to wonder how the rest of the band—Blackwood in particular—felt about that. In most bands, a shift like that would have led to at least one angry departure. Somehow, the Details had managed to keep it together without any public drama, unless you counted Miller’s multiple rehab stays and a short stint in jail for public intoxication and possession.
They weren’t planning to record any vocals that day, so Blackwood wasn’t around. The lead guitarist, Steve Smith, and drummer, Kenny Sailes, had entered the studio in the middle of a contentious but good-natured disagreement over which one of them would be harder to replace if they went into rehab. Alex Benton, the bass player, shook Henry’s hand and gave him a one-armed hug.
“Maybe you can settle that argument, Cole,” he said, grinning.
“They can both go, as far as I’m concerned,” Henry said. “You’ll have to tough it out, though, Benton. I don’t like playing bass.”
“You heard him, you assholes. Cole here is gunning for you, and he’s a man of many skills. Watch your backs.”
“Not me. I don’t want to be a rock-and-roll star. I prefer to work for a living.” They all laughed, and Henry said, “So, uh…how is Dell doing, anyway? Rehab working out, I hope?”
The mood turned slightly somber, and they all glanced down at the floor. Finally, Smith shrugged and said, “Terry said the place looked pretty nice, and Dell told him he was actually going to try this time. Who the fuck knows.”
Benton sighed and nodded. Sailes snorted skeptically and muttered, “I think we all pretty much know, Steve.”
“Sorry,” Henry said. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t worry about it,” Benton said. “It’s not your fault. You gotta understand, we’ve been on this ride a few times, man. Dell is…Dell.”
Henry cleared his throat. “Well, anyway—the new songs sound great.”
“The fucked-up hillbilly bastard sure knows how to write a goddamn song. Can’t take that away from him,” Smith said, smiling again. “It’s going to be the best thing we’ve ever done.”
The session went as smoothly as anyone could have hoped for, and Henry left the studio on a serious high. He wanted to get laid, but the thought of calling Richard to see if he wanted company left him restless. As soon as the idea of going to a bar occurred to him, he knew it was exactly what he was looking for. He rarely went out to bars alone, and rarely with the express purpose of finding sex. That night, he felt like a different person.
Henry’s usual haunt, the Westside Clubhouse, was a relatively laid-back place. Guys went there for the same reason they went to any other gay bar, but mainly because it was a place they could relax and be themselves. The drinks were generous, the bartenders were cute but not intimidating, and they all knew Henry. But that wasn’t the kind of place he was in the mood for. Instead, he went to the Hammer and Nail, which he’d heard about but hadn’t yet ventured into.
He stood in line outside the club while the bouncers checked everyone out at the door. While he waited, a couple of guys got turned away for not being fit enough, young enough, handsome enough, or for not fitting who-knew-what other criteria. Henry had been confident when he first queued up, but by the time he got to the front of the line, he was nervous. The tall, blond, muscular bouncer eyed him up and down and motioned him inside without a word, smacking him on the ass as he walked past. The whole process was fairly disgusting, and while Henry was opposed to the attitude in theory, he couldn’t deny that it felt good to know he passed muster.
Inside, the bar was dark and loud. At least half the guys were shirtless, and all of them were beautiful. He bought a gin and tonic and walked through the throngs of sweaty men. He’d need at least two more drinks before he’d be able to get on the dance floor, so he didn’t wander too far from the bar.
Henry turned around to see a sound technician at one of the studios where he regularly worked. “Hey, man,” he said, searching frantically for the man’s name.
“Pete, right, of course. I’m sorry. From Blue Door Studios, right?”
Pete nodded. “I didn’t know you were…” He motioned vaguely around the room.
“Yeah, well,” Henry said, smiling lamely and shrugging. “I don’t usually come here, though. It’s not exactly my scene, but I was in some kind of mood tonight. I had a good day.”
“Why? What happened?”
“Laid down some tracks with the Vulgar Details,” Henry said, striving for casual, as if it was the kind of thing that happened every day. “Great stuff.”
“Oh, cool. Was Terry Blackwood there? He’s so sexy.”
“Nope. No Blackwood, and no Dell, of course. He’s the reason I got hired.”
“Right, the drug thing,” Pete said. “Too bad you didn’t get to meet Blackwood though. I bet he’d think you’re cute.”
Henry rolled his eyes. “I have met him. He treated me like the hired help, which I was. And I think those rumors are all bullshit anyway. Just because he partied with Lou Reed or got a blow job from some drag queen—supposedly—doesn’t mean he’s into guys. I think he wants people to think he’s interesting, like Bowie, instead of a second-rate Mick Jagger.”
Henry gave him a sheepish grin. “I was unaware I had any opinion of him whatsoever until just that moment.”
“Well anyway, a boy can dream.”
Keelan Ellis is an author of romance and detective fiction, who is always seeking to expand her literary horizons. She is a lover of music and food, and has an intense love/hate relationship with politics. Her stories reflect her passions.