Hi peeps, we have Michael Rupured stopping by today with the tour for his newest release Whippersnapper, we have an exclusive excerpt and a fantastic giveaway so enjoy the post and click that giveaway link <3 ~Pixie~
Tellumo Magnamater is a fresh-out-of-college, first-year English teacher at Salt Lick County High School in Kentucky. He rides the bus to and from work, and every day he walks to the gym behind his small efficiency apartment to exercise. Perhaps because of being raised by two lesbians, Tellumo is attracted to older men. He sets his sights on fifty-something available bachelor Oliver Crumbly. But Tellumo isn’t the only resident interested in Oliver.
Peggy Tucker, a widow approaching her sixtieth birthday, is determined to marry again, and she thinks Oliver is her perfect match. Despite Tellumo and Peggy striking up a friendship at the gym, neither realizes they are interested in the same man. But the joke might be on both of them. Oliver, a retired history teacher, is the original crotchety old man who hates everything and everybody—especially young people.
Oliver was never late, ever, but unexpected traffic and long lights had burned up the extra time he’d allowed for the trip across town. He scanned the rearview mirror and the road ahead before nudging his Taurus up four miles over the speed limit. Unless the police pulled him over or he ran into trouble parking, he might still be on time for his three o’clock step class.
Conditions had improved since his trip to the grocery the day before. The sun remained behind the clouds, but the temperature had climbed several degrees. Dirty gray ridges of snow remained in parking lots and along side streets across Fallisville, but roads were mostly clear and dry. Nonetheless, he watched for patches of black ice. Better safe than sorry.
His ex had followed a different philosophy. Oliver could almost hear Kevin berating him for driving so slow. “They’re not allowed to pull you over unless you’re going more than seven miles over the speed limit. It’s in the Constitution. I swear!”
Letty O’Mara Dawson had warned him about Kevin, but Oliver had paid no attention. As always, he should have listened to his best friend. She’d never steered him wrong before, but he hadn’t wanted to hear the truth. After he’d come home early from the gym and caught Kevin in bed with that trampy little blue-haired houseboy of Giorgio’s, Letty had driven down from Dayton and stayed with him for a couple of days. Not once did she ever say, “I told you so,” even when Oliver had acknowledged she’d been right.
Snowmageddon ruined their annual get-together and completely disrupted his fitness regimen. Jane Fonda workout videos were a fair replacement for the cardio classes he missed, but sit-ups, push-ups, and planks were no substitute for the strength-training equipment at the gym. Losing forty-five pounds hadn’t been easy. Keeping the weight off was a challenge—especially this time of year. Retiring didn’t mean he could let himself go. He’d worked too hard and come too far to backslide now.
Oliver pulled into the shopping center as the digits on the First Bank & Trust sign switched from 55o to 2:54. Seven years ago, he and Kevin had joined what was then known as Epic Fitness. Among the gyms they’d considered, the spacious new facility had state-of-the-art equipment and offered the widest variety of classes.
The place had changed hands and names several times in the intervening years. Since retiring from Salt Lick County High, Oliver had considered joining one closer to home—especially during the Body By God era. Stepping for Jesus to hymns and Christian pop tunes with big-haired women in full makeup had been entertaining, but the Reach for the Lord replacements for yoga classes had been too much.
Michael Rupured loves to write. Before learning the alphabet, he filled page after page with rows of tiny circles he now believes were his first novels, and has been writing ever since. He lives in Athens, Georgia, grew up in Lexington, Kentucky, came out as a gay man at the age of twenty-one in the late 1970s, and considers surviving his wild and reckless twenties to have been a miracle. To find out what Michael’s up to now, visit his blog (rupured.com), follow him on Twitter (@crotchetyman) or send an e-mail message to email@example.com.