Title: Chase in Shadow
Series: Johnnies, #1
Author: Amy Lane
Genre: Contemporary Romance (trigger warning. Abuse, neglect and attempted suicide)
Narrator: Sean Crisden
Length: 9 hours and 39 minutes
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press at Audible (04-01-14)
Heat Level: Explicit
Heart Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥ 5 Hearts
Reviewer: Tams
Blurb: Chase Summers: Golden boy. Beautiful girlfriend, good friends, and a promising future.
Nobody knows the real Chase.
Chase Summers has a razor blade to his wrist and the smell of his lover’s goodbye clinging to his skin. He has a door in his heart so frightening he’d rather die than open it, and the lies he’s used to block it shut are thinning with every forbidden touch. Chase has spent his entire life unraveling, and his decision to set his sexuality free in secret has only torn his mind apart faster.
Chase has one chance for true love and salvation. He may have met Tommy Halloran in the world of gay-for-pay—where the number of lovers doesn’t matter as long as the come-shot’s good—but if he wants the healing that Tommy’s love has to offer, he’ll need the courage to leave the shadows for the sunlight. That may be too much to ask from a man who’s spent his entire life hiding his true self. Chase knows all too well that the only things thriving in a heart’s darkness are the bitter personal demons that love to watch us bleed.
Purchase Link: http://www.audible.com/pd/Fiction/Chase-in-Shadow-Audiobook/B00JDQFAK2/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1409168885&sr=1-1
Review: At first glance, one would think Chase Summers life is perfect. He has a devoted fiancé, a home, friends and good paying job. Dig down deep though and you’ll find the stuff of nightmares. Chase buries his sexuality behind a blood red door that binds his soul. His father is a homophobe of the highest order, and his mother killed herself when he was just a boy, only adding to the emotional scars that make up Chase’s tattered soul. The little piece of heaven in Chase’s otherwise psychotic existence is his job for a ‘gay for pay’ site, Johnnies.
Tommy Halloran has his own personal demons to deal with. He’s bulimic, brought on by a need to look as fit and trim as possible in front of the cameras. His Johnnies persona, Tango, is a sexy little minx with his dark hair and piercing eyes and absolutely zero inhibitions where sex is concerned. Tommy and the other guys at Johnnies quickly befriend Chase, but somewhere along the way, the relationship between Tommy and Chase becomes something more.
After Tommy’s mom dies and Chase is a shoulder to cry on, the two begin a passionate affair. Yes, Chase is still closeted and lying to his fiancé, but he doesn’t lie to Tommy about the important things, or so he thinks. Keeping his sexuality and his past bottled up behind that red door that is starting to buckle under the pressure, turn out to be more than anyone could bear. When the bough breaks, and Chase takes a razor to his wrist, he finally opens up about his sexuality. Turns out, that was just the tip of the iceberg.
First, I’m going to tell you this was one of the best books I’ve ever listened to. Then I have to warn you that if you have triggers… severe depression, attempted suicide, abuse, neglect… be warned all of these situations are depicted in this story. While this was a very heavy story to listen to it was told in such a way that I was engaged and intrigued throughout. I found myself silently weeping at one point, when Chase finally opens up about the red door and his mom, it was devastating. But the way he gets through everything, surrounded by nothing but love and support, because Tommy and the rest of his friends NEVER leave his side, was beautiful.
Either Amy Lane works with people with depression and anxiety, has a family member or close friend that suffers or she does some of the best research in the business. I know someone whose situation is quite similar to Chase’s and the way Lane describe things were so eerily true, it was almost haunting.
Now the narration, wow! It’s no secret Sean Crisden is one of my favourite narrators, his voice is mesmerizing. The way he can change his tone with just the barest of pitch or breathe adds so much more to the story. And then when you couple his expertise with a fantastically written story, it’s a masterpiece. Throughout the story, Chase has this inner monologue going, the demon that is his depression speaks and Crisden had a specific voice, monotone almost, that he used for these parts in the story. It allowed me as a listener to feel the gravity of Chase’s situation. He’s all sunshine and smiles on the outside, but inside he’s being torn apart, and all the while, this demon of depression is so matter of fact about everything, it really shows the truth of what goes on inside the minds of people who suffer this debilitating disease.
This story is dark, dramatic and emotionally draining. But there is such a beauty to the bond between Chase and Tommy and the way they literally drag each other out of hell, that I can’t not recommend it.