Hi guys! We have Nicky James stopping by today with her new release Lost Soul: AJ’s Burden, we have a great excerpt and a brilliant Amazon GC giveaway, so check out the post and enter the giveaway! <3 ~Pixie~
Lost Soul: AJ’s Burden
What does rock bottom look like to you?
AJ Silva is about to find out. His life has been spiralling the drain for the past year, and if he doesn’t find a way out soon, he may die on the streets of San Francisco. Drowning in a severe drug addiction, battling every day to survive, AJ doesn’t know where to turn. His past haunts him in more ways than one, and leaves him both grasping and begging for change, while fearing his future. All AJ knows how to do is chase one problem away with another. How can you win the war, when your enemy is yourself?
Trystain Larsson is an addict. Five years ago, he discovered rock bottom first hand. Since that dreaded day, he’s worked his recovery with everything he has. Helping others who’ve fallen victim to drugs gives him hope for a better tomorrow. If he can save even one person from that life, it will mean victory.
When AJ lands at his doorstep, Trystain gets more than he bargained for. Not only is AJ at the end of his rope, but there is something darker going on.
Coming off drugs is not an easy task, and with AJ, Trystain has his work cut out for him. During their time together, a bond that goes deeper than friendship grows.
Will mistakes from the past be barriers for the future? It’s hard to move forward, when you can’t stop looking back.
**TRIGGERS** For significant on-page drug use. Addiction and withdrawal.
The bitter, chalky taste soaked up my last remnants of saliva, making it difficult to swallow. With a shoulder leaned heavily against the damp brick wall to help keep me steady, I dragged my feet into the darkness of the alleyway, further from the main street.
The inner trembling was worse than I’d ever experienced. Popping and jumping, my nerves twitched and jerked uncontrollably just under the surface of my skin. Drops of sweat rolled down my forehead and into my eyes again, stinging and forcing them closed. I wavered and dug my nails into the cold brick, searching for leverage to keep myself upright. With the earth working against me, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could remain standing.
My racing mind hadn’t slowed, and no matter how cautious and concentrated my movements, the sensation of barreling down the street at top speed hadn’t left me. I couldn’t slow it down, and it was too much.
“Fucking work goddammit.”
Pausing only long enough to wipe the sweat from my brow, I watched my feet and continued—to where, I didn’t remember.
Licking my lips offered no relief. They’d cracked and dried out days before. The coppery taste of my own blood coating my tongue reminded me I needed a drink. As though in agreeance, my parched throat choked me on my next attempt to swallow.
In a matter of a few feet, an odd curtain descended, blanketing me in liquid warmth. My internal heat rose to an ungodly temperature and I stumbled. Blinded, uncoordinated, and instantly sluggish, the ground came up and smacked me. Numbed to the pain, the only sensation I registered was the coolness of the concrete.
You’re a fucking idiot. So desperate for relief you accept shit from a stranger. You’ll fucking die here, you know? Get your fucking ass up and find him. Are you gonna let that motherfucker do that to you?
“Shut up! Fucking, shut up!”
Gritting my teeth, I tore my nails along the hard ground. Loose pebbles cut into my soft nailbeds as they lodged underneath. The sudden haze thickened, like a dense fog appearing from nowhere. The swift sailing I’d been trying to escape for days circled and drained, replaced by a haunting numbness that made my already racing heart gallop out of control.
“Fuck. Fuck. What the hell was that shit?”
You’re going to fucking die!
With all the strength I could muster, I covered my ears and screamed. At least I thought I did. No noise penetrated the darkness, or none that I could hear. Was it an illusion? Was I so over-amped my senses were backfiring?
Sleep, which had eluded me for days, engulfed me quicker than I wanted. Limbs weighted by bricks, I couldn’t force myself off the ground. The ability to move had become more than impossible. With effort, I forced my eyes open and tried to make sense of where I was. It was bright, yet hazy and dark at the same time. The streetlights had been left behind on the main road and all the illumination surrounding me came from the half moon glinting off random surfaces where it peered into the crack of the alley high above.
I’d wanted to be somewhere safe to crash, but desperation had prevented me from waiting and the consequences of my hasty actions laughed at me along with the voice that wouldn’t go away.
Fucking loser. Just double up next time and put yourself out of your misery. No one fucking cares anymore.
If I could have cried, I would have, but my body was pivoting on such severe dehydration the act was impossible. Fear. Loneliness. Anger. Regret. The onslaught of emotions swept over me one after another.
Hot breath passed over my skin near my ear and my body jarred and tensed and I pried my eyes open. Nothing. Nobody. Yet I knew I’d felt it. I didn’t want it to be happening. Manifesting in physical, tangible reality was more than I could ignore.
“Go away,” I mumbled. My words weren’t coming out as I wanted.
I needed to keep going, find my way home. I knew that, wanted that, but couldn’t make it happen.
I could no more find the strength to lift my head than I could find the understanding to clear the sweat from my eyes. It gathered thick over my skin, soaking my clothes and driving my tremors to teeth chattering levels. My own heart was set to explode. If it pounded any more, it was sure to give out. I was going to die there. He was right.
Darkness descended. Incessant thudding in my ears. My heart couldn’t catch up. I drifted from reality. Truthfully, I’d left reality behind fifteen years before and had been seeking it ever since. Every effort failed. Peace and balance wouldn’t come that night. It may never come. That could be it. My end, lost in an unfamiliar alley.
Healing Hearts series!
New Beginnings: Abel’s Journey
The Escape: Soren’s Saga
Nicky James lives in the small town of Petrolia, Ontario, Canada. She is mother to a wonderful teenage boy and wife to a truly supportive and understanding husband who, thankfully, doesn’t think her crazy.
Nicky has always had two profound dreams in life; to fall back hundreds of years in time and live in a simpler world and to write novels. Since only one of those dreams was a possibility, she decided to make the other come alive on paper.
Nicky writes MM romance books in a variety of styles including contemporary, medieval, fantasy, and historical.
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