Hey peeps, today we have Jason Lloyd popping in with Queer Dirty Laundry, there’s a great little excerpt, we are given an inside peek at dating peeves and there is a brilliant giveaway where you have a chance to win your own copy of Queer Dirty Laundry… just leave a comment with your dating peeves 🙂 <3 ~Pixie~
Queer Dirty Laundry
What would you do if everything changed in the blink of an eye? Life teaches us that everything happens for a reason. Every good or bad experience, every event, shapes us into the adults we become. We are our pasts and they shape our future.
In this nonfiction coming of age mini memoir, Kevin and Jason embark on an adventure to Philadelphia to visit friends and to get into their normal hijinks. Along their journey, they confide in each other the only way best friends can; through laughter, love and pain. They share stories of coming out, first time sexual experiences and dramatic events that changed their lives forever. This hilarious and heartfelt journey through the past can only strengthen their friendship in the present.
Your best friend knows all your little secrets. They know all your dirty laundry. Can you air it all out? How dirty is your laundry?
Dating App Pet Peeves
I would like to thank the lovely people at MM Good Book Reviews for allowing me to visit and share this post with you today.
For whatever reason you or friends use gay dating sites or apps like Grindr, there should be a form of etiquette to follow. Some of my characters from my new creative nonfiction book Queer Dirty Laundry and I bring you our biggest dating profile pet peeves.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS
Tommy Knockers: Nothing annoys me more than if they don’t have a face pic or any pic for that matter!
Jason: It’s 2014 people! If you don’t have a picture in your profile, what’s wrong with you!? Your smartphone has a built-in camera. There is no excuse anymore.
I’M JUST LOOKING FOR FRIENDS … WANNA FUCK?
Jason: You ask someone what they are looking for exactly and they say “just friends” and then they try to remove your underwear with their teeth. Sorry, I don’t act that way with my friends.
Dino: I can’t stand when profiles read “Looking for a long term relationship or friendship” and then they send a message like “Let me suck your dick!” Be honest with what you are looking for. If you want friends, fine. If you’re looking for a relationship, fine. Just be honest in your profile and with yourself.
LISTING ALL THE THINGS I DON’T WANT AND ALL THE THINGS I DO
Jason: Too many people are focused on what they think their ideal partner, friend or hookup should be. They let potentially awesome guys slip away because they don’t fit their criteria of hot. This is so sad.
Dino: I get irritated when they use any part of the limited space in the profile to exclude people and be rude. “Nobody over 40! No black guys!” and the like. Get over yourself and realize that you’ve shut off a potentially very big group of interesting people. The one that I guess does bug me is the vague negative, e.g. “Get away disgusting old guys.” Only because the definition of old is VERY vague. So if I’m any older than you at all, I’m not gonna bother saying hi.
Bobby: When guys put no Fats/Fems. It annoys me because they are already starting out on a negative note, like they are better than these people are! They are putting it right out there and doing it in a derogatory manner. I also hate the “Be Masculine.” Guess what, boys? You’re looking to have sex with/date/cuddle/kiss a guy. Some people might not consider that overly masculine!
SKANKS, SLUTS, AND WHORES
Jason: Gay dating sites can be very frustrating for those guys who truly want to meet someone worthwhile. Using Grindr to try to just chat or make a friend is like trying to start a knitting circle at a bathhouse. Does it always have to be all about sex?
Kevin: I hate when guys on apps like Grindr don’t even start up a normal conversation and just ask for sex or send dick pics. Can’t people say hello anymore? I don’t need to see your penis right away.
Tommy Knockers: I know most use it for hooking up, but when you get a message like “When are you free?” it’s really annoying.” Can’t we have a normal conversation without sex being brought up?
Jason: You’ll be surprised at how far politeness will actually get you, whether it’s just chatting or meeting for the first time. One of my biggest pet peeves is no response. It is so rude!
Dino: I can’t stand it when guys just delete the message without replying back. Just say you aren’t interested.
Bobby: Most of the men on these sites see a message from someone and without thinking twice, they close/delete the message like it never happened. Wouldn’t it be better to say you weren’t interested than to keep someone hanging?
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND
Jason: Nothing irks me more than when guys have boyfriends or life partners and have profiles on dating sites! Unless you’re in an open relationship or looking for a third to join in with you and your honey, you shouldn’t be on a gay dating site. They’re supposed to be for single people.
Kevin: Nothing annoys me more than chatting with a nice guy only to find out he has a boyfriend or partner! Why do gay guys have to constantly act like they’re single even when they are not?”
Jason: Apps like Grindr were created to be fun and provide a way to meet new and interesting people more easily. So with that being said, have fun with it! Gay dating apps and websites may not lead to the love of your life, but you may find a friend or someone interesting to talk to.
Here is an exclusive snippet from my book Queer Dirty Laundry. Grindr is like gaydar in a gay man’s pocket. In this snippet, you can tell how the app is used.
While Jelissa browses the racks for a top, I search Grindr for one. Some of the Philly men are very attractive, a few of the older ones message me, asking if I want to suck their dicks and I get a few “Sup?” which I honestly hate. “Sup” is not a word, is it that difficult to write out “What’s up?”
I receive dick pics from guys hoping to score. I never ask for them, because I think asking is tacky, but then again you don’t need to ask. Gay men send dick pics the way straight girls send out selfies. I have to be the only gay man in the world that does not send pictures of my dick to strangers.
An attractive black man sends me a picture of his horse cock and I show Kevin.
“Did Deshawn’s look like this, Kev?” I ask.
“Er-ma-gerd! That would rearrange someone’s insides!” Kevin grabs my phone and says very loudly, “Hey Jelis look at this big black dick!”
Jelissa looks at him with her mouth slightly open in shock by what he just blurted out in front of a store full of people. Kevin flashes my phone in front of her face and she says very loudly, “Jesus Christ, that’s big!”
“I can tell subtleness runs in the family.” I say sarcastically.
Jason Lloyd is the author of hilarious m/m romance featuring an array of interesting characters. Salty Aftertaste (Ginge Publishing, 2013) was his first creative non-fiction novel. It reached Smashwords Top Best Seller list in Gay & Lesbian Fiction and was the #5 best seller in the New Adult genre on All Romance eBooks (ARe).
His second book, Queer Dirty Laundry (Ginge Publishing, 2014), is a creative non-fiction novella and is based on his popular blog by the same name. In 2011, QueerDirtyLaundry.com was nominated for The Best of Gay Philadelphia under Best Gay Website/Blog. Jason’s blog was also in the top ten numerous times on Best Male Blogs.
Jason is currently working on an m/m romance and mystery/suspense fictional novelette series called Filthy Fibbers. Filthy Fibbers is centered on five friends and the scandalous secrets they keep. The book takes place in a small Pennsylvania town called New Hope.
Jason grew up in a small town in Bucks County, Pennsylvania outside of Philadelphia. A majority of his writing takes place in Eastern Pennsylvania including Philadelphia. He currently resides in a small town in Berks County, Pennsylvania.
What’s your dating profile pet peeve? Leave it in the comments for a chance to win an ebook copy of my new book Queer Dirty Laundry! One person will be randomly selected from the comments.
A special thank you to my publicist, Joleen, from Parenthetical Author Services. She set my whole blog tour up. If you’re an author and need help promoting your work, email her at email@example.com.