Hi guys, we have Angel Martinez popping in today with her new re-release Lime Gelatin & Other Monsters, we have a brilliant guest post, a great excerpt and Shorty’s review, so check out the post and enjoy! <3 ~Pixie~
Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters
Angel Martinez
Kyle Monroe’s encounter with a strange gelatinous creature in an alley leaves him scarred and forever changed, revealing odd abilities he wishes he didn’t have and earning him reassignment to a precinct where all the cops have defective paranormal abilities.
Just as he’s starting to adjust to his fellow misfit squad mates, Kyle’s new partner arrives. Tall, physically perfect, reserved, and claiming he has no broken psychic talents, Vikash Soren irritates Kyle in every way. But as much as he’d like to hate Vikash, Kyle finds himself oddly drawn to him, their non-abilities meshing in unexpected ways. If they can learn to work together, they might be able to stop the mysterious killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies along the banks of the Schuylkill.
It’s Not As Serious As You Think
Angel Martinez
It’s hard to get some kids to read consistently. I know it was a terrible struggle with my son, who loved being read to, but refused to read for enjoyment (and often not for his school assignments either.) Harry Potter was the best thing that happened to him—and he’s been reading voraciously ever since.
I was the opposite. My parents despaired over getting me to do anything but read and my reading habits were a little odd, perhaps. Sure, I read stories about horses and dogs, because I read some of everything. I even read a Nancy Drew. One. My worst habits, though, were books of myths, legends and folktales, and historical fiction. The Door in the Wall. The Black Fox of Lorne. Rosemary Sutcliffe books. So many Rosemary Sutcliffe books. Heavy fantasy reading came soon after. My parents would take us to the public library on the weekends and there was never a lack of amazing books. It was serious stuff, though. Often exciting adventure sorts of things, but serious, nevertheless.
So imagine my shock (and sheer delight) when someone put The Once and Future King into my grubby little mitts. The first part of that book, The Sword in the Stone, T.H. White’s utterly charming and gently ironic take on King Arthur’s boyhood was…funny. Fantasy could be funny? Was this allowed?
Why yes, yes it is. The Dragon and The George, Tom Holt novels, Xanth, Discworld, even Alice in Wonderland, once you’re old enough to decode the word sport a bit—funny. Some not-so-serious fantasy is hilarious throughout, in broad or subtle ways, depending on the author, some have humorous premises, moments, or situations.
Being able to sustain a piece that doesn’t have a serious premise is harder than it looks and authors have different approaches to making it work in a story. Even Discworld has some deadly serious moments (e.g. Mortimer’s duel with Death) but the author-reader contract with comedy is that you know things will work out. They don’t always work out the way the characters had intended, but most everyone who’s been tagged on the side of the protagonist is all right in the end.
When I started writing humorous pieces, I knew (to my utter shame) that I couldn’t be one of those writers who are funny throughout, where every page brings another absurd notion or revelation or conversation. That’s something I had to come to terms with—that I needed my own rhythm for humor rather than someone else’s. My humor has serious moments, moments of pathos. I’m going to try my best to make you care about an independently animated leather jacket.
Though I freely admit, that last sentence is hard to take seriously.
Excerpt
Kyle sat up straighter, shifting to see between the heads in front of him. Soren looked like a poster boy for the model police officer, tall and straight, uniform crisp and sharp. He stood at parade rest beside the lieutenant impassively surveying his new colleagues. A little knot of resentment lodged in Kyle’s stomach. At his own introduction to the Seventy-seventh, he’d been nervous and fidgety, freaked out by the collection of…freaks. How can he be so calm?
“Officer Soren transferred from the Harrisburg PD—”
“Don’t they have enough freaky shit of their own up there?” Wolf called out in his rasping growl.
“—since Harrisburg is in our jurisdiction,” she continued with a quelling glance. “He’ll start out partnered with Monroe.”
“What does he do, ma’am? That it’s safe to put him with Kirby, er, Kyle?” Shira Lourdes asked as she flicked nervous glances across the room at Kyle. An empty chair slid away from her and fell over. Her partner, Greg Santos, shook his head and righted the unfortunate piece of furniture.
“Officer Soren’s abilities are his business, which he may or may not choose to share if you ask. And don’t bully him about it either, any of you.” Lieutenant Dunfee swept the room again, pinning each of her officers with her needle-laser gaze like captive butterflies. “Monroe, my office after briefing. Info on your current case.”
She dismissed them, stalking from the room with thunderclouds in her eyes. Kyle found himself approaching the new guy and trying his best not to be awkward. Did he offer to shake hands? Was it safe? Would the guy flinch like so many people did at the sight of Kyle’s scarred hands? Soren was even taller up close, six-foot-three of lean inscrutability, his blue eyes startlingly bright against smoky bronze skin.
“Um, hi, I’m Kyle Monroe.” Kyle fidgeted when Soren didn’t offer his hand either. “You’re with me, I guess. I’ll show you our spot in the squad room.”
Soren followed him silently and Kyle was starting to wonder if he was like Krisk in the not-speaking department until he finally spoke in a smooth, soft baritone, making Kyle startle and miss a step. “Why do they call you Kirby?”
“You’d hear it sooner or later, I guess.” Kyle shrugged. “It’s this thing I do, absorbing other people’s talents temporarily. If they’re close to me. Or touch me. Like Kirby, the little pink dude in the video game.”
“Ah.”
Just that? Soren didn’t edge away, or change expression at all. Was he made of stone? “It’s a thing. Everyone here has a thing.”
After a few more steps, Soren asked, “Always?”
“What…oh, was I always like this? Who knows? I mean, maybe I’ve picked up stray thoughts or something, but no. It’s pretty recent. Knowing that I do this.”
Kyle took a wide arc around Vance as he entered the squad room, pointing to the double desk in the far corner, well removed from everyone else. “That’s ours. Coffee’s over there, but you might not want that coffee. Let me grab my file and we’ll go see the lieutenant.”
“So what’s your story, Soren?” Vance called across the squad room. “What flies your freak flag?”
“Yeah, what do you do?” Jeff Gatling stopped ’porting his banana from one corner of his desk to the other.
“I don’t really do anything,” Soren answered as he hefted the empty coffee pot. “Guess I’ll make fresh since I’m the new guy.”
He opened the top to remove the filter and every human voice in the squad room yelled out, “No!”
Most people would have startled, maybe dropped the carafe. Soren just blinked at the roomful of people gesturing wildly. He took the filter out and emptied it over the trashcan. “Why not?”
“You don’t want to do that.” Kyle stayed by his desk, a nice safe distance from the coffee station. “That’s Larry’s job.”
“Larry’s not keeping up then.”
The container of sweetener packets began to rattle. It shivered across the counter and leaped to a messy end, ceramic shards skittering across the floor. The desk that Krisk and Wolf shared rose from the floor several inches and slammed back down. Wolf fled with a squeaking yelp just before the desk flipped on its side.
Soren glanced toward Kyle. “Larry’s not a cop, is he?”
“He is…he was! A dead cop. Larry’s a ghost. He gets ticked if anyone else makes the coffee. Put the stuff back, please!”
“Larry?” Soren raised his voice but to all appearances remained completely unruffled. “I’m new here. I’m very sorry I invaded your jurisdiction. See? I’m putting the carafe back. Closing the top. Are we good, Larry?”
A breeze ruffled through a stack of papers, but no further mayhem ensued. The carafe slid from its pad on the coffeemaker and floated to the water cooler where Larry, who never manifested in a visible form, whistled tunelessly while he filled the carafe.
From his dim corner of the room, Carrington said in his dry, genteel way, “Welcome to the Island of Misfit Freaks.”
About Angel
While Angel Martinez is the erotic fiction pen name of a writer of several genres, she writes both kinds of gay romance – Science Fiction and Fantasy. Currently living part time in the hectic sprawl of northern Delaware, (and full time inside the author’s head) Angel has one husband, one son, two cats, a changing variety of other furred and scaled companions, a love of all things beautiful and a terrible addiction to the consumption of both knowledge and chocolate.
Where to find the author:
Facebook | Facebook Author Page | Twitter | Pinterest | Website
Review
Title: Lime Gelatin and Other Monsters
Series: Offbeat Crimes # 1
Author: Angel Martinez
Genre: Erotic Romance, Fantasy, Paranormal
Length: Novella (91 pages)
Publisher: Pride Publishing (19th June 2016 early download)
Heat Level: Moderate
Heart Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥ 4.75 Hearts
Blurb: Kyle Monroe, his irritating new partner and their fellow freaks at the 77th Precinct must learn to work together to stop a vicious murderer that might not even be human.
Kyle Monroe’s encounter with a strange, gelatinous creature in an alley leaves him scarred and forever changed, revealing odd abilities he wishes he didn’t have and earning him reassignment to a precinct where all the cops have defective paranormal abilities.
Just as he’s starting to adjust to his fellow misfit squad mates, Kyle’s new partner arrives. Tall, physically perfect, reserved and claiming he has no broken psychic talents, Vikash Soren irritates Kyle in every way. But as much as he’d like to hate Vikash, Kyle finds himself oddly drawn to him, their non-abilities meshing in unexpected ways. If they can learn to work together, they might be able to stop the mysterious killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies along the banks of the Schuylkill.
Publisher’s Note: This book has previously been released elsewhere. It has been revised and re-edited for re-release with Pride Publishing.
General Release Date: 16th August 2016
ISBN: 978-1-78651-469-1
Product Link: https://www.pride-publishing.com/book/lime-gelatin-and-other-monsters
Reviewer: Shorty
Review: After a strange encounter with a gelatinous creature in an alley Kyle discovers he has abilities and as a result is transferred to the 77th precinct. The 77th precinct consists of others with odd abilities who make up a paranormal team so to speak.
Vikash Soren is one such member of the team who gets partnered with Kyle. They are on the case of finding a mysterious killer who leaves mutilated bodies along the river.
What I enjoyed about this book was how well balanced it was. The drama, mystery, humour flowed smoothly throughout. The details of the mysterious killer were interesting as the story progressed.
The main characters were a hoot to read about, especially when they are working together and getting to know one another.
Fantastic and interesting read.
